There is a lot of discussion about the causes of PE.  There is also a lot of discussion about whether PE should be thought of as a dysfunction.  Robert W. Birch, Ph.D., states in his book, Male Sexual Endurance: A Man's Book About Ejaculatory Control, "I believe it to be a normal variation that can be managed, but what must be learned is an approach that requires close attention until age slows the man down...if it ever does." Regardless of the discussions and speculations, the one thing that we know for sure is that lasting longer serves no reproductive function.  I agree with Dr. Birch in that lasting longer can be thought of as a learned behavior that can result in extended and intensified pleasure for a man.  This learned behavior can also extend and intensify the sexual pleasure for women through the extended thrusting of the penis which results in the movement of the labia which in turn stimulates the clitoris.

Premature ejaculation can  also caused by psychological factors such as guilt, fear, and performance anxiety.  The possible sources of these psychological factors are many and can vary with each individual.  When these barriers are present, they can often be best addressed by working with a certified sex therapist.

It is essential for males learning to extend their sexual endurance to adopt the belief  that good sex is unhurried sex meant to be enjoyed by him and his mate. The longer he spends in foreplay prior to his first orgasm, the stronger and more enjoyable the orgasm. The extra flow of blood to the sex organs builds slowly, swelling the tissues and sensitizing the millions of nerve endings in and around the genitals.

At this point many men may be wondering about multiple orgasms.  In the words of Dr. Robert Birch, let us concentrate on getting it right the first time.

The traditional treatment of premature ejaculation involves becoming very familiar with the feelings and sensations leading up to the "point of no return" and ejaculation. By learning to become very familiar with these sensations, men can slowly learn how to predict when the upcoming ejaculation will occur and gain more control over their ejaculations.  The treatment of PE is very male focused and it is not uncommon for the man's sex partner to feel left out.  Males learning to extend the time it takes them to ejaculate are usually instructed to not engage in intercourse during the first few stages of treatment.

Sex therapy for premature ejaculation usually starts out with masturbation exercises, done at home, focused on identifying the "point of no return" (ejaculatory inevitability).  The male is instructed to masturbate, without the aid of pictures, videos, etc. and to concentrate only on the sensations and feelings in their penis and the muscles surrounding the penis and rectum. There is a point at which they will not be able to control their ejaculation anymore. At that point, as hard as they try, they cannot stop themselves from ejaculating. Ejaculation is can not be stopped because it is a reflex: caused by the brain sending messages through the spinal cord to the sex organs with orders to ejaculation. 

Once the individual identifies their point, the following exercises involve masturbating until they reach a level of arousal just before that point and which they are still in control.  They then stop until the arousal level decreases to a point where there is no chance of ejaculation, but not so long that they lose all of their erection.  Some therapist instruct their clients to stop until they lose their erection.  This cycle is repeated three times and on the fourth cycle ejaculation, as normal, is allowed.  Once the male has satisfactory control of his ejaculations during the masturbation exercises, the next step will be to include his sex partner.  The partner will manually stimulate him in the same manner.  It is important that there be no intercourse until satisfactory control is achieved during these exercises

The method just described is called "stop and start".  Another standard method that is used is called the "squeeze" method.  The squeeze method, which may be more effective for some, is more awkward.  So I prefer to start with the "start/stop" exercises.  The squeeze method requires the male, or his partner, to stop and then squeeze the penis just behind the crown until he in control of his arousal level.   

Variation in the next phase of treatment can include masturbating with the penis close to the vagina, inserting the penis in the vagina with no movements for short periods of time, etc.  Then transitioning to intercourse with the female in the on top position and facing each other.  The male uses his hand on his partner's hips to guide her motions in the same start and stop pattern used in the masturbation exercises.

These exercises continue when the position changes to the man on top.  Then the  "stop and start" method calls for the male to stop all movements and press the pubic bone against his mate's pubic bone, just before he reaches the "point of no return".   If the mate's vagina will not accommodate the full length of the penis then stopping all movement can be used. Neither the male or his mate moves until the urgency to ejaculate decreases to a controllable level.  Then start thrusting again. This cycle is repeated three times in a row.  The squeeze method calls for stopping all thrusting and squeezing the penis in the same manner as it was squeezed during the masturbation and manual stimulation exercises. 

Sometimes therapist also teach the male to flex and relax the muscle that controls the flow of urine. This muscle can be identified by focusing on the muscles contracted when urinating that stop the flow of urine. The muscle is known as the PC muscle.  Some experts recommend that this exercise be repeated several times every day to assist in gaining more control of the ejaculation process.

Some topical (liquid or lotions) products such as Stimula For Men have worked well for some men and it might well be worth the small investment to find if it might work for you.

There are several  good resources on the market for those that are committed and self-disciplined enough to follow the programs for several months (in some cases up to a year). 

The following products have very well worked for many men.

Ejaculation Master